Naruto's a What?
by The First-Born
Summary: Naruto has been hiding a secret for around three years and thanks to a sleepy act of kindness by letting Ino sleep at his house when she shows up at 2 in the morning. That secret will be exposed, along with his perverted acts. Huh? Naruto's a playboy?
1. Chapter 1

Naruto's a What?

-I don't own anything-

----------o(X)o----------

Our story starts on a dark and stormy morning. Naruto has finally went to sleep in his brand new bed after having to get it replaced again. He had been hiding a secret from everyone for at least three years, but with one act of kindness, his life is about to spiral into madness.

Naruto jerked awake with a yawn as a very loud and annoying string of knocks echoed from his apartment door. Untangling himself from the bed, he cursed as he tripped and stood up, revealing that he was as nude as the day he was born. Looking around he kicked a pile of clothing over and found a pair of black boxer shorts underneath.

He pulled them on and left the room, navigating through down the small dark hallway and into his surprisingly clean and modern looking living room just as a boom of thunder echoed across the sky followed by another annoying round of knocks.

He stumbled over a glass bottle beside his couch and swore as it clattered loudly on the hardwood floor.

"Who the fuc-" Naruto asked rubbing his eyes as he slung the door open. "Ino?"

Standing outside the door to his apartment was one Ino Yamanaka, soaked to the bone and shivering in the wind.

"Ino it is..." he paused to look at the small clock hanging from the wall, "Almost two in the morning, what the fuck do you want" he asked irritably with a yawn, wishing to sleep some more.

Ino blinked, surprised at the tone he used. Naruto was always dopy and happy, glad to help anyone who needed it. But now, he seemed totally different. Not to mention hot due the to body he was showing off.

"I've decided that since your my only friend that has a place of their own, I'll be staying here for the time being" she said holding up her bags with one hand and stepping foreword only to run into him, pushing her chest against his bare one.

Naruto didn't even blink or flinch, only yawned, "This is MY apartment, you don't just barge in and say that your staying here. Besides you have a home, why aren't you there?"

If he didn't shock her then, she was now. Putting on the best pout posable, Ino looked down and poked the fingers together, "My parents kicked me out after getting into an argument with them" she said truthfully, smiling as Naruto sighed.

Bitch or not, Naruto couldn't just leave her out in the storm, besides, he wanted to get back to sleep. Moving out of the way he allowed Ino in and flipped on the lights.

"Where's the shower?"Ino asked, "I've been soaked and got some mud on me, besides I really need one."

"First door on the left" Naruto muttered loudly before pointing to the couch and yawning again, "There's the couch. Pillows are in the closet beside the bathroom as well as sheets. Towels are in the bathroom closet. Now, I'm going to sleep."

"On the couch" Ino stated making the sleepy Naruto nod.

"Yes, on the couch, night." he agreed before falling back onto said couch and snoring happily.

Ino blushed as her eyes lowered down to his boxers where a rather impressive object rested against his thigh. "Wow, I never knew Naruto looked so good" she said thinking back to all the times she saw him in an orange jumpsuit. Looking closely she noticed that the 15 nearly 16 year-old also had a few tattoos on his body. One being a gothic looking cross right above his heart and a leaf symbol on the other side.

Brushing all perverted thoughts away, Ino locked Naruto's door and took her bag into the bathroom.

'Wow Naruto's apartment looks great' she thought getting a good look at it. Everything looked brand new, even the expensive flat-screen TV looked like he just took it out of the box. Hearing something clink against her foot, Ino looked down and gaped as she noticed that it was an empty sake bottle.

Looking between the bottle and him, Ino's mind ran full speed, 'Naruto drinks?' she questioned, imagining the innocent little prankster guzzling down a bottle. Oh she'd have so much to gossip about.

Reaching the bathroom, Ino nodded in happiness as it met her expectations but gasped and stared with wide eyes as they caught sight of the bloody sink. Walking over, Ino looked in to see a pair of bloody tweezers, a shard of glass around five inches long, and bloody wire used to stitch wounds on the battlefield.

She thought back and noticed that Naruto's chest did look like it had been heal recently but didn't remember him coming by the hospital recently since she had been working there as a soon to be medic. The blood looked fresh enough to be at least a few hours old and she had just gotten off around eleven, one of the reasons her parents were angry at her.

Turning the water on in the sink, Ino carefully moved the bloody objets to the side and washed the blood out before turning the water on in the tub and stripping down to her panties and bra.

Naruto's bathroom was almost better than hers, even if it was smaller. Hers was cold and made it slightly uncomfortable to undress but his was warm, despite the fact that it was cold outside. Finding her curiosity get the better of her, Ino opened the draws and started nosing around. Finding some little stuff like combs, ear cleaners, and even a few hair gels, Ino shrugged and went to the next. Finding hair dyes in all colors, a metal case of colored contact lenses, and other make-up objects, even some white face pant, Ino was shocked and slightly creeped out until she saw a small piece of paper that read, _Henge can be beaten by good ninja, changing your looks the civilian way can beat a good ninja. -Sarutobi-_

'He always was looking out for him,' Ino thought, noticing that the stuff had been used more than once. Closing the drawer, Ino opened the cabinet door and found only extra rolls of toilet paper and cleaning products.

Finished with her snooping, Ino stood and noticed that the mirror had a small latch on the side. Pulling it, the mirror opened to show that it was a medicine cabinet. 'My kami' Ino gasped, there were at least twenty bottles of pain pills. Not the over the counter kind but the hard core stuff that addicts would sell themselves for.

'Naruto's a pill popper!' Ino thought, thinking back to all the times he had been picked on, 'Is it because of us?' she wondered starting to feel bad only to read the label and find that Tsunade herself had prescribed them.

Closing the mirror, Ino grabbed a towel and stepped into the tub, moaning as the water warmed and relaxed her body.

* * *

Ino lost track of time and almost spent an hour in the tub before getting out around three, she didn't have a mission tomorrow anyway so it really didn't matter. Walking down the hall, Ino walked into Naruto's room and once again found Naruto's room to be surprisingly adequate for her, if not totally surprising.

She half expected his room to be orange, from the walls to the bed. But instead it had a polished hardwood floor, a ash black fur rug with a matching queen sized bed with the covers pulled to one side. The walls were plain white but had a few pictures of people she didn't know, but none of his team surprisingly. Looking at the pictures she gasped as she found one of Naruto and princess Yuki, KISSING!!! And not just some peck or a grandma kiss, but raging battle on each others tongues.

Pulling away, Ino couldn't wait to gossip the next day and went into Naruto's closet to use one of his black t-shirts he always wore under that jumpsuit. Expecting to be blinded by a insane amount of orange, Ino blinked as she found it full of all different kinds of clothing, ranging from suits to pajamas.

"How much have you been hiding Naruto?"Ino questioned herself .

Pulling on a pair of panties and one of his shirts, the 15 year-old girl slid into his bed and sighed.

"mmm..."

Ino sucked in a breath as the covers beside her groaned and started to freak out as an arm wrapped around her.

"Where'd you go Naru-sama" asked the vary familiar voice of a well known woman.

**"EEEEEEEEEKKKK"**

* * *

In his drowsy state, Naruto had forgotten all about his recent girl still sleeping in his bed. At the moment he was remembering his time back with Jiraiya training back before Pein busted his ass... or better yet his lack of training.

Due to that, Naruto had spent a lot of his time in other brothels wanting to be away from the perverted piece of shit. He still didn't know if that was a mistake or not. You see, in the training report Tsunade got, their was a whole year and some change missing due to Naruto getting pissed off and leaving the pervert half dead from a Uzumaki style beating. During that time he had many run-ins with Yakuza, Thugs, Bandits, Raiders, Nuke-nin, and Forein-nin, which caused him to gain a shit load of experience.

He even unknowingly made a name for himself, for both his stamina in the brothels and the gangs he disbanded using the classic kunai diplomacy method .

**"EEEEEEEEEKKKK"**

Jumping from the couch, Naruto pulled a switchblade from underneath his cushion and barreled down the hall before kicking his door open to reveal Ino on the floor while a very curvy, very important, and oh so very nude Tsunade laid on his bed, covering her sexy older body beneath his comforter and glaring at the younger girl with sharp eyes.

Suddenly, Tsunade's eyes turned to him making him gulp while his switchblade clicked shut and clattered to the floor, "Oh fuck"

* * *

Naruto groaned as he withstood Tsunade's verbal lashing, while she was submissive to him in bed, she demanded respect in public and wouldn't hesitated to smack him if he did something extremely dumb. Although, he had her in her office one time on her hands and knees while he sat at her desk before, moaning at her wonderful lips after she yelled at him for doing her assistant on her desk.

He smiled inwardly, Jiraiya would be proud.

"I can't believe you would let someone come in your home, much less ANOTHER girl and let her sleep in your bed. WHEN I WAS STILL IN IT!... Damn it, this is worse than that time you got Konohamaru to run butt-necked down main screaming that he escaped from my office"

Naruto snickered as he remembered that day, the night before Tsunade had played some joke on him knowing that he'd get her back. Just so happened that Konohamaru owed him a bunch of favors for saving his ass from the victims of his pranks. So... with a promise to wipe his depts. and a handful of candy, Konohamaru was streaking down main street screaming 'Help! I just escaped from a cage in the Hokage's office'.

Just so happened that Tsunade was there at the time. She, nor anyone else ever dared to prank Naruto again. Once again crowning him, the 'Don of Disorder'.

He once again ignored her... well he did her voice, that thong she wore for him was starting to arouse him.

Sighing, Naruto stood up against Tsunade, "Listen, don't yell at Ino. She's having family problems and it's storming outside, I was sleepy and confused so if you want to be mad, be mad at me. It was my fault she walked in and got into the bed with you and I'm sorry"

Ino was surprised to see such a mature action coming from him, From what she could remember, he would rather blame another person just to get a good laugh.

"Now, as much as I love seeing you in a Malinko (Ma-link-oh) thong, can you please put on some more clothes" he asked looking down at her thighs as she was dressed in only a shirt and said thong.

Looking down, Tsunade turned pink and turned around looking for her clothes, accidentally showing Ino just why Naruto loved seeing her in that thong since it framed her ass perfectly. She knew that her pants were in the living room because Naruto had started stripping her in there.

Finding her pants, Tsunade bent down to grab them only to hear a loud 'eeped' as her thong showed more then she wanted to Ino. Standing straight up, she blushed at the lust filled look Naruto gave her as Ino passed out on the couch.

* * *

Ino yawned as she awoke on the couch with the sound of sizzling and popping filling the air. A heavenly sent premeditated from the kitchen and filled her nose making her mouth water. Rolling over, Ino followed her nose and stumbled into the kitchen to see a shirtless Naruto cooking over a hot stove while Tsunade drank coffee from a large cup and read the paper with a tired look on her face.

The awkward tension in the room spiked as she sat down still wearing Naruto's oversized shirt and her panties. "So... how long?" she asked.

Tsunade growled, "How long what?" she asked showing that she was still a bit mad.

"How long have you and..." She was unable to even finish the question due to her shock.

Naruto broke the tension with a loud snort, "What she means to ask babe, is how long have I been plowing you into the ground, bed, couch, table, counter-"

Tsunade spit a large amount of searing hot coffee across the table and into Ino's face.

One healing Jutsu later...

"Come on Tsu-chan, we both know that it was going to get out sooner or later. At least it's where we can explain without it getting out and changing into you raping me, or us dating to revive our clans, people would freak." he said placing a plate of food between them and turning back to the stove, "Besides, us being fuck buddies is a lot better since that would be a lot more acceptable due to the fact that even a beautifully aged woman such as yourself deserves some fun every now and again."

Ino looked between the two, "But you almost 16 and she's-"

A growl from Tsunade made her rethink her next sentence, "-She's ah... The Hokage, wouldn't it cause trouble if people learned that she was using her power to order her ninjas to have sex with her?"

At this Naruto and Tsunade both snorted, "Please, as if i'd order anyone to have sex with me. Besides Naruto wouldn't do it if I ordered him to , he isn't the submissive type."

"Damn straight" he muttered flipping a pancake onto a plate.

Slowly the wheels in her head turned and with a gasp she jumped up and pointed a finger at him, "Yon mean to say that Naruto dominates you Tsunade-sama!" she asked with shock on her face.

"Of course I do, didn't you see the tattoo on her ass"

Ino froze and thought back, suddenly blood dripped from her nose as she remembered the black tattoo saying, 'Property of Naruto, Hand's off"

* * *

_To be continued..._


	2. Chapter 2

Naruto's a What?

-I don't own anything-

----------o(X)o----------

Screams of shock and surprise echoed around the village as a team of neon pink Anbu franticly chased after their attacker, throwing curses and weapons at the figure a head of them. They had been slacking off during a shift at headquarters when suddenly, a explosion rocked their room, sending smoke and pink paint in all directions.

"BRAT!" cried one.

"GET BACK HERE!" the next finished.

Jumping over a gap, the figure being chased suddenly changed directions and leapt over a large tree near the women's hot spring.

Quickly following, the Anbu were caught off guard as a tree limb flew forward and slammed into the whole team and sent them barreling into the steaming waters.

Landing in a crouch, the hooded figure threw his hood back reveling the smirking face of Uzumaki Naruto, "Thanks Konohamaru, nice save"

Another smaller figure jumped beside him, "Your welcome boss, I just thought you'd like some help." the boy said with a matching grin.

"Heh, I owe you one," Naruto said before standing, "You know how to find me" and then back flipped off the branch.

Naruto laughed to himself as he bounded through the air with no particular destination in mind. He had been given a few days off and had spent his morning pranking the Anbu who lazed around. He really didn't need to go into town and shop that much since Shizune had taken to shopping for him, buying whatever clothing she thought he'd look good in and whatever food she deemed good for him.

With Tsunade scaring most of the good men away, Shizune had found herself alone most of the time so Naruto had taken to flirting with her as well. Shizune was very loyal and with him fulfilling her needs, she had wanted to repay him with taking care of him. Something that he was slightly grateful for. He could cook nearly anything with the skills of a master, but when It came to cleaning, washing clothes, and arranging furniture... he sucked.

Naruto counted himself as a very lucky individual, you see with the seal draining the kyuubi of it's power and transferring it to him, Naruto found that he had some major problems. One was that the fox had succubus-like powers which made him increasingly horny and gave him control over pheromones. (The second one had been out of control for awhile but had finally been mastered.) But since he had so much energy, both Tsunade and Shizune understood that he would need more than them if he was to keep form going into a sexual frenzy.

He knew that he had it pretty good, he had been named Jiraiya heir and was receiving the money from his book sells. Tsunade was his 'personal' doctor whenever he was hurt or needed a checkup, and Shizune was his willing and sexy 'maid' of sorts... and part time nurse. He had two lovely ladies caring for him who would do anything for him, even be his personal cum dump, yeah this is the life...

Looking at his watch he wondered when Tsunade got off but realized, 'Damn... it's the last day of the month meaning their going to that 'Girl's night' at the bath house' he thought before grinning, 'It's around 12 so maybe I should bring her some lunch... I wonder what kind of underwear she'll be wearing'

* * *

Walking up the steps of the Hokage tower, Naruto carried a covered plate in his hand. Reaching Shizune's desk right outside the Hokage's office, Naruto stopped and cocked his head to the side when he saw her bending over the front of her desk furiously scribbling something down.

"Hello Shizune-chan" He said, shaking his head.

Shizune looks up and turned to see Naruto, "Hi Naruto-kun, here to see Tsunade-sama?" she asked with a smile.

Naruto nodded and held up the plate, "Yeah, I've got the day off and thought that she'd love some lunch since you won't let her leave the office until her paperwork's complete"

Shizune giggled, "Well, you might want to be careful, she seemed grumpy today. would you know anything about that?" she asked.

Naruto gave her a foxy smirk, "She was probably up all night 'beating' someone" he said with a suggestive tone before laughing at her blush. "But in all seriousness, does she have any appointments today?"

Shizune turned around to show her cute ass and grabbed a book on her desk, "Only one with a messenger from spring."

Naruto hummed and walked up behind her before placing a hand on her cute, tight ass. "Call us before they arrive, wouldn't want them to die of a heart attack do we. Also..." He stopped to squeeze her ass and lick her earlobe, "I'll see you tonight,"

With a slap to the ass, Naruto left the badly blushing Shizune at her desk and walked into Tsunade's office, still holding the plate of food for Tsunade.

* * *

Walking in Naruto leaned back as a cork flew into the door and stuck in an inch, "My, my, Is this how you greet people Tsu-chan?" Naruto asked walking in with a laugh.

"Naruto-kun!" Tsunade cried, happy to have a break from paperwork.

"I brought you some..." Naruto stopped as he found the plate missing and Tsunade moaning. "Damn that was quick"

Tsunade blushed, "Sorry but Shizune locked me in here and wouldn't let me leave, I've been starving"

Naruto walked around her desk, "Aww, you poor thing" he said bending so that his face was even with hers, "Mean ol' Shizune-chan keeping you locked away?"

Tsunade nodded and was shocked when he kissed her deeply, "Naru-kun!, we can't do that here!" she said "Someone can walk in"

Naruto laughed and took one of her impressive breasts in his grasp. "You know, Jiji had a lock down seal placed on his desk, all you had to do is this..." Naruto hit a small button hidden under the desk causing the walls to glow with seals and the windows to darken until they turned pitch black.

"Now, I have you all to myself..." he grinned.

Tsunade's blush darkened, "Naru-sama... what's brought this on?" She asked moaning as he pinched her nipple.

"Well, your going to girl's night at the hot spring so i'm going to relieve you of your stress before then so you don't drown anyone out of anger" He answered. "Stand up"

Tsunade obeyed and stood while he took her seat. "Strip for me," he ordered

Tsunade slowly worked her black waist tie off before taking her green coat and gray shirt off. She peeked at him and tossed the clothing to the side,cursing an arm to cover her nipples. Turning her back to him, Tsunade slowly worked her pants down shaking her ass side to side just how he liked. As her pants pooled around her ankles, she bent down showing off an orange thong and threw the clothing with her others.

"Do you like them Naru-sama?" She asked slapping her ass, "I got them for you"

Naruto grinned and leaned back, showing a impressive bulge against his thigh, "I love them," he said before leaning back up and grabbing her arm.

Tsunade squeaked as he pulled her into his lap and started groping her large tits, "Ohhh" she moaned feeling his hands roughly squeeze them.

While one hand played with her chest, his other hand slid down her body and played with her pussy through the orange fabric making the blond gasp out as he used chakra to increase the pleasure.

"You know Tsu-chan, I've been thinking about getting another tattoo." he said as if talking about the weather. "One that covers my whole back, maybe another cross with 'Forgive me of my sins' around it"

Tsunade didn't reply, only grasped his hand as his chakra powered fingers pushed her over the edge and caused her to flood her panties with her juices.

"Tsu-chan!" Naruto said sharply like one would a child. "How dare you make a mess in your panties," Tsunade only whimpered in his lap as he poked at her pussy a few more times.

Naruto used some impressive strength as he picked he up and laid her across his lap and smacked her rear, "You should know better than that"

"Sorry... Naru-sama" she panted, emitting a small whimper of pleasure as he swatted her bottom again.

Naruto continued until her ass had a bright red outline of his hand on her ass, right next to the tattoo. Seeing that she was panting and whimpering at the same time, Naruto rubbed the mark and kissed her neck. "Shhh," he whispered, "It's all over now, I forgive you for making a mess" he cooed.

Tsunade's whimpers soon turned to groans then moans and soon she was moving herself from his lap and rubbing the front of his pants, "Thank you Naru-sama, Let me so you just how sorry I am..."

* * *

An hour later, Tsunade was sitting at her desk uncomfortably as both her holes and ass cheek protested any movement. Naruto hadn't missed anything as he fucked her on everything from her chair, the window, floor, desk, couch, the two chairs in front of her desk, against the wall and even under the paintings of the four previous Hokages. Two of which were her family.

Looking back at them, she swore that the first and second had blushes, the third was smiling perversely, and the fourth had a look of pride.

"Tsunade-sama, the messenger is here." Shizune said over the intercom.

Tsunade checked everything over to make sure all was fine and then wiped her mouth to make sure that none of Naruto's cum had missed, after all how awkward would that be.

The man walked in and held out a letter, "Hokage-sama, Princess Koyuki wanted me to give you this letter" he said allowing he to take the letter. "And now if that is all, I must be going."

Tsunade waved him away and unsealed the letter, unfolding it her eyes widened, "She want Naruto to do what?!?"

* * *

Around five in the afternoon, Tsunade growled as her Anbu failed to find Naruto. They had been searching for four hours to find him but failed. Now she had Kurenai and team 8 standing before her.

"I need you to track down Naruto, he's still in the village but seems to be avoiding Anbu for some reason. You all know that if he doesn't want them to find him, they wont. I need him here soon as possible so hurry."

Kiba, Hinata, Shino, and Kurenai nodded and jumped from the window in search of their elusive blonde friend.

* * *

Two hours before...

Naruto however, wasn't in some hole in the wall hiding from the Anbu, he laying face down in a tattoo parlor while a gothic girl with multiple ear, nose, and lip rings straddled his back and constantly worked on his back with the skill of a master.

"You know sexy, I told you that tattoos were addictive" she said over the hum of her tattoo gun. "But I didn't think you'd get such a large one so soon or that you'd get it all done in one day. Most guys get it piece by piece."

Naruto hummed, "Well I'm not like most guys" he said

The girl agreed and sat back to check her work. It was a large gothic cross like the one on his chest but with much more detail, the words 'Fogive me of my sins' written in fancy writing around the top and bottom.

Standing up, the girl tossed him a tube of lotion to have rubbed on his back, "That'll be 375." she said with a smile as he paid her and left.

Now...

Naruto sighed as a pair of soft hands rubbed his back, soothing the soreness and releasing any pent up stress.

Suddenly the doors opened and in walked team 8.

Looking up he saw their gaping faces and waved to them. "Hey guys,"

"Naruto what are you doing here?"Kurenai asked with a hard look.

Naruto blinked and wondered what was up with the look then remembered, He was in a massage parlor where he had said girl dressed in only her panties, rubbing her back and letting her brests press against him while her ass rubbed against legs.

"Getting a massage of course" he stated cooly, making her eyes harden.

Kiba whistled only to have the topless woman flip him off, Shino said nothing, and Hinata felt angry at the woman atop Naruto.

"Naruto," Kurenai started, "Tsunade has been looking for you for hours-"

Naruto huffed, "Fine... Get up baby, your job's done,"

The woman pouted, "Aww, but you paid for at least another hour" she said knoing that their would've been a happy ending.

"Yeah I know, but duty calls" He said feeling the woman stand up and walk away.

Naruto then stood up and revealed his tattoo to the group while grabbing his clothing, "See ya" he said before dissapearing in a whirl of leafs.

* * *

"Oi, what the fuck Tsu-chan?" Naruto asked appering in her office only to have a paper be held up to his face by a serprised looking Tsunade. "Holy fuck... Koyuki-chan want's me to be in her next movie..."

_To be continued..._

Tell me what you think and remember, the more reviews I get, the more I want to write.


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